Pantyhose: My Nemesis

MAJOR wardrobe malfunction today. MAJOR.
And...probably one of the most awkward moments of my life.
I was trying to be creative and mix and match some things in my closet to get a super cute chic look for my meeting today at the district office. I wanted to wear my gray pencil skirt, my white blouse, and a lime green/gray/black cardigan. It was too cold for a skirt this morning, so I decided I would give my black pantyhose a whirl. I put them on and was really confused as to why all of these little fibers rubbed off on my hips when I pulled them up. Brushed off all of the black fibers, did a static reducer routine, and jetted off to work. It was during my 1st period lecture that I noticed a gigantic line showing through my tight skirt-about at mid thigh. I walked over (I was also in heels) to my desk with my legs restricted so I am slightly waddling now. I tell the kids I have to go make a quick copy (the copy room is next to my room) and the kids work on their quiz. In the copy room, I reach both hands DOWN my skirt (PRAY that no one walks by the wide open door to the copy room) and yank up my hose, which obviously FELL down mid calf.
***Jump to period 2. I am now in front of the class at the chalkboard and my pantyhose start to creep DOWN my leg. They are almost to my knees again and I am oddly trying to walk (hard to do discreetly with hose around your knees) back and forth the length of the board to lecture. At this point, I imagine they will be showing past my skirt at any given moment. I realize now that they HAVE. NO. ELASTIC. It is gone. Shot. So, I decide that before my meeting I MUST go home and put a new pair on. I have travel time (about 15 minutes) to switch from the Middle School to the High School. I run into my old co-op, that I student taught for, Earl. Earl asks me if he had a zit coming out on his forehead and if it was tragic looking. I tell him I have pantyhose problems. I then second guess myself for telling a 40 year old male in the hall that I am having pantyhose problems. I walk all the way down the hall. HOSE ARE MAJORLY SLIPPING! I walk out into the parking lot, where the construction workers are staring at me, as I have now no choice but to grab them to keep them up since they were semi-up, I had to grab just below my butt. I waddle into the car. I run home and change before my super important meeting. I now have no time to prepare for said meeting. I called my mother and laughed for 10 minutes straight. The fibers in the morning that I saw were indeed my pantyhose falling apart.

I will think long and hard before I EVER put on hose again.